make your husband realize that nothing's going on over here? i've never cheated on anyone in my life, and he knows this. he also knows that i am very dedicated and commited, yet he feels im cheating on him. i think it has to do with some of the guys there, cause some of them their wives are cheating and on top of that some of the soldiers are cheating on their wives/husbands, and i think that's what's getting to him and causing him to worry about whether or not i am. i don't even leave the house unless i really have to with the exception of quinton's bday party and hanging out with ruth. so when does he see that i cheat, plus when im home im doing stuff with the kids, doing school work, or doing stuff i need to do online, talking to his parents, or talking to you girls...so where does he get off thinking im cheating? he's never had problems before, and we both look at life, our relationship, our marriage, the vows, and the commitment the same way, and we swore this was our first and last marriage. so, i don't know...how do i make him realize nothing's going on? 

he probably has a lot of people talking in his ear. you can't make him see anything, but you can keep reassuring him that you are devoted to him and your family and hopefully he will see that and stop thinking the worst.. 

yeah, i tell him stuff all the time about how we're doing, what we have going on, how much we love him and miss him, and how there's no one else but him...im so upset right now it isn't funny and can't stop crying. he left the message with his mom or what not and she tried reassuring him that that's not going on cause she knows the way i am. we both think it's the others talking in his ear. 

oh i know what you are feeling...my husband tried pulling this crap on me 2 weeks ago. and its from the guys over there that have wives or girlfriends cheating on them so of course they assume you are doing it too. i actually got pissed off at him and told him that he needs to stop this crap because you know i would never do that to you and so and so on. well it worked because he apologized up and down the next day (i refused to take his calls/emails that day) and everything has been great since lol. 

perhaps, he has dealt with a cheating other in the past, maybe someone you don't know about. my husband was married for 9 years before, and during his first deployment, she cheated constantly. even when he got back. he has never said or even implied that he thinks i may do something like that, but i know that, because it's happened to him before, he has to wonder. and especially since we don't have kids here (he has a daughter, she lives in la) and i am free to go and do as i please without children, i know it has to be in the back of his mind somewhere. so, because of that, i just reassure him that i love him more than anything, and miss him terribly, and that i am so proud of him. everytime we talk, i make sure he hears that and he knows that. just reassure him that you are HIS woman and that you are waiting for him when he comes home. other than that, there isn't a whole lot you can do. if he has these feelings, he is gonna have them regardless of what you say. and yes, it probably does have something to do with other soldiers/spouses feeding him bs...but, there is nothing you can do about that. and also too, because he misses you so much. i know mine tends to get a little snappy with me when he gets really homesick. just be patient. this too shall pass... 

well, that's good to hear. his family keeps trying to reassure me that everything's going to be fine and that he wouldn't have married me if he thought i'd cheat on him...so it's just them getting to him and the fact that he's on the other side of the world, but i have to talk to him...it's bothering me knowing that he even thought this...cause ive been cheated on and i wouldn't do it to anyone, but the fact that he's thinking it just is killing me. i just wish he would call or something so we can talk about it and get it straightened out asap...cause i can't deal with this on top of everything else. 

my husband tried for about 2 seconds and that sh.t got shut down real quick, because he came to his senses.. just give him time to come around.. there are a lot of skiddy b...... around that like to marry soldiers to take what they can get outta a stedy pay check, so there are a lot of horror stories. 

yeah, but he's never been married to anyone, and since he joined the military 6 years ago he's kept his relationships to a very minimum due to a girl he tried proposing to cheating on him, but that was right after he got in and then he backed off of the whole relationship thing and kept to himself for the most part. 

alright, thanks missinghim...i definitely wouldn't do that to him and he knows it. im with him for him not for anything else. and plus my kids love him and they would be devastated if he left us. they talk about him everyday...but this crap isn't going to fly with me. i just hope he gets over it soon. 

it will pass.. my husband always tells me that when he has down time all he does is think about things, and something small can get blown up really quick because they are constantly thinking about it.. you know? 

hang in there. 

yeah, that can be true. just something like this is hard to deal with after everything ive been through throughout my life...if it weren't for him i wouldn't even be where i am now and my kids wouldn't be as content as they are. my life was screwed up prior to him since the day my parents got divorced, and i've been having a lot of problems since then and could never find a decent guy til now...and i don't want to lose it or him 

im sorry that you are going through this. and i hope he calls soon so that you guys can talk about it and get it sorted out. best of luck hun! 

thanks 

Itll work out SA82. I think some of the guys that have had wives cheat on them decide that every wife is a cheater and that it is thier job to make sure every soldier around them knows it. Unfortunately the few bad apples truly can make it harder for the rest of us that don't do anything. When he calls just tell him how you feel about him thinking that. As I told one girl, tell him if he thinks that then maybe he can answer some questions about "camp wives" that might get him to stop quick. LOL 

btw the whole camp wife thing I think is a bunch of bs that some of the women decide to spread around to screw w other wives minds 

I would say to keep reassuring him, let him know that making you feel like he doesn't trust you hurts you & don't get too worked up/defensive about it if he asked where you've been etc. Try to remind him that you are not like "everyone else" and don't want to be:) 

thanks girls...i'll keep that in mind. im just hoping that he calls soon..we really need to fix this issue. 

what's camp wives? 

my hubby does the same thing. he always asks me about if i was seeing somebody else and its always the same story. i know he trusts me but there are so many people over there getting dear john letters and other people who sit there and tell our soldiers that we are cheating...why?....i wish i knew. and when he tells me this it breaks my heart bc it makesme feel like he doesnt trust me and its already hard enough with the deployment. tell your hubby that your his one and only. i told mine that if i was gonna leave/cheat on him i wouldve already done it instead of going thro all this pain and loneliness of being alone and having to do everything. this is hard for both of you, good luck and {{hugs}} lemme know if you need someone to talk to!! im here girl, right with ya!! 

hey sa82,i'm guessing alot of us go thru this especially when theyre gone.my hubby did the same thing when he was gone but it all came because alot of the guys there where telling the married ones things like "how can you trust your wife you know she's cheating on you" or things like "you really think she's going to be alone the whole time your gone" but i thunk it's all because theyre wife's cheated they want to put that in the other soldier's that actually have a good marriage.my best advice to you is just to let him know that you really love him and you would never do him like that.plus if you guys been married for a while or what not he should know the real you by know and not be doubtfull about what you do or might be doing plus he should not to let others get things into his head.everything will be ok!good luck!i'm here for ya! :} 

We had people telling me that my hubby was cheating on me. It was people from his unit that I trusted. I questioned him about it and when he said no I didnt believe him. Come to find out they were right and I talked to the girl personally. We seperated and I dated someone else too. Seems like I get crap for breaking it off with him then dating someone else months later and he gets nothing for actually cheating on me. Thats a diffret subject though. Lol. I asked him why he cheated and his words to me was that I had had so much suspition and doubt becaue of people that he just did it since I already believed he was doing it. Kinda sucks that because people couldnt shut up and leave him and me alone that it ruined our marraige. ya just got to keep reasurring him. It may suck that you keep having to say it but he may just need to hear it. Some guys do. So keep reassuring him that nothing is going on! If ya need to talk just message me. 

I am sorry this is happening to you. I can't say I know how you feel because my hubby has never worried about me and I never worried about him cheating. I hate to say this, but do you think he is maybe trying to convince himself you are cheating to make it ok for him to cheat. I am not saying that is what is happening, but I have heard of that happening before. 

Mine did the same thing. They freak out because they see what happens to other guys. Their wives cheat and get knockedup by another guy, or the wives are just screwing whom ever. I meet a lady that said she cheatd on her hubby the first deployment. He is now on his second and doesn't think she is cheating again. She told me that she has a seperate myspace, and email address... She said her hubby doesn't think she has time to cheat..she laughed and told me that is why her kids go to bed early..... MY MOUTH DROPPED!!!! I was like OMG! I never would have thought any of this till she just dropped it all on me. So yeah LOTS of wives cheat and it cause's A LOT of problems for the one who don't!! I did what Stephanie did...I told him no I wouldn't do that and am not like that and then didn't answer the phone or emails for about a day. Then he got the point and was very sorry. 

I haven't had to deal with this situation. We joke around alot about it though...like he asks where Im going and I say my boyfriend...lol! But when he was deployed it never crossed our minds. I know that my sister and her hubby...it was bad. She is like Mother Teresa and he would accuse her everyday. I think its just their own insecurity. They are scared of losing you. Don't make a fight about it. Just blow it off when he starts talking about it. 

Yeah,My husband was extremely jealous and paranoid when he was in BTC and AIT. I'm positive it's the soldiers seeing and hearing all the stuff going on around them. He even admitted he was scared because another soldier who had a great marriage for 5 yrs and kids decided she wanted a boyfriend over him. It is really about insecurity. I would never cheat and he knows that but he let his paranoia get the best of him. You can't change it but the best way is to ignore it and reassure him that you are not a whore and you don't appreciate him implying so. LOL It will get better. 

sa82 the camp wives thing is something that ladies on military.com have been posting. The reason I say its a bunch of bs is bc they actually said that the ARMY 'issues the soldier a camp wife, who is a woman who does everything that a real wife does' why the heck would the army 'issue' them a woman to cheat with. these women just like to start crap. but from time to time when my hubby annoys me I just say something to him about it bc im a witch like that LOL 

oh my goodness, why would people start stupid stuff like camp wives, isnt deployment hard enough for the families and their soldier 

true enuf jill 

My Husband knows better than to accuse me of anything like that. When we first got married within a year he was sent to Korea for 15 months,during that time his Father died and I had to do everything on my own (plan the funeral,do all the redcross stuff,deal with lawyers and Will) I was 19 at the time,talk about taking on responsability... He knows that I was there for him then,and that I'll always be there for him,he has never doubted our marriage because he knows the sacrefices I have made to be with him. If he ever pulled that crap he would QUICKLY be put into place,and knows I wouldnt hesitate to draw up divorce papers,I refuse to be accused of anything like that and he knows I wont put up with jealousy or being told what to do in any way shape or form. I know he would NEVER cheat on me because he knows not only would I take him for half of everything,and 18 years of child support but I would just flat out Murder him. Starting with chopping his "Member" off and moving onto gouging out his eyes.....