I am having trouble ... My b/f fiance what ever you want to call him is stationed in Washington right now but is soon getting stationed here in fort hood. But here lately he has been kind of distant... not returning phone calls and hardly calling me Does the military REALLY keep them THAT busy ... or do you think that there is SOMETHING else going on up there that he is not telling me about... I am at a loss for words ... i dont have a clue ...but its kind of frustrating me and getting me to wondering 

it depends really. it can b very busy life being inthe ARMY... but i know my husband always find the time to talk ... so you might wanna try to get him to talk about it. 

You have to take into account that it is THE ARMY, haha. Sometimes they are kept really busy, and other times these poor soldiers are so beat from there day that all they want to do is sleep :) You just have to trust your instincts. How long have you known him? Would he really do anything like that? You have to have SO MUCH trust when you are Engaged or Married to someone in the Army. They are away and busy all the time. Have some faith and when he calls, just talk to him calmly about how you feel without the blame game or name calling!! Hope everything works out! 

every time that I have tried to call ... theres no answer ... Im soon to graduate college and am looking for a job in ft hood area but if this keeps up Im seriously just thinking about finding a job in fort worth area and us just being closer like that ...seeing each other on the weekends and my days off etc... I just am frustrated cause I really am trying to talk to him about this that is bothering me so much but yet he wont answer or return my phone calls :( I dont know what to do :( 

Honestly...sometimes my hubby is really busy and sometimes hes not. It really depends on his job. But I would talk to him and let him know how you feel. My hubby always makes time to talk but maybe your husband doesnt have the time. Its really hard to answer this because it really depends..Good luck 

how long has it been since this started? 

thanks shannon we have been together for about a year ... and engaged just recently ... I dont think that he would cheat because he was married before and the girl cheated on him ... long story but it hurt him really bad ... he has been VERY busy before and for some reason he is just now not being able to call? Its just tooo weird ... but I trust him ALOT I just dont know how to relate to all this ... with this being a first time for a long term, long distance, and military relationship lol im a newbie at everything lol 

big booty ... it just started recently ... like maybe 2 weeks ago 

he really could be that busy. Especaially with all these deployements going and the extra trainings they have. It also depends on the unit, command and other things. you also have to take into consideration that there are 'black outs' and sometimes they arent giving warning, just told, no communications for so many days. Hope you get to talk to him soon. 

what are black outs ? why would they tell him no communication for days ??? 

i think meg might be thinking he's in iraq? it's typical if they're overseas... they're where they cut off all ways of communication... say if someone dies, they'll have a blackout until the family is reached so they can be properly informed 

o ok no he is NOT getting ready to be or already deployed he is just an E-6 or staff seargent and so I dont know if that could be the reason hes notbeing able to call or what lol 

wish i knew what to tell you! he hasn't called at all in 2 weeks? 

I dont think he is that busy that he cant contact u unless he is in the field or away at training. 

i agree... they're busy... but my husband atleast makes an effort to txt me goodnight when he's out in the field and can't talk. or he'll tell me in advance, "hey, we'll be doing blah blah blah, i won't be able to talk to you for a while"... you need to get the scoop on what's going on with him! 

neither of those I do know that he has an EX up there that wont leave him alone ... it just makes me think that there is something that is going on with them or something ... am I wrong for thinking that ? I just have mixed emotions about what is going on 

mrs D that was ment for you ... hes not in field or in training 

no ur not wrong for thinki9ng that u should go with ur instincts. could u do a surprise visit? i know thats far lol 

ooo good Idea but nope cant do that .. with lack of funds 

yeah u just going to have to wait to talk to him and let him know how u feel and kinda play it from there. 

im so confused !! :( :( 

I know i need to wait but waiting is the hardest thing to do ... i dont even know when he will call again ... probably in a week ... thats how it has been ... i have talked to him 3 times in the last 3 weeks its killing me !! :( 

i don't blame you... as if a long distance relationship isn't hard enough, guys go and pull stupid stunts like that! i know b/c my husband i did the long distance thing from when we started dating till they came back from iraq in Jan... 

JUDY how did you trust his SO COMPLETELY from the very beginning ... did you ever have suspicions of him cheating ... how did you deal with the long distance ordeal?? 

my advice? take a job in the d/fw metroplex regardless. trust me, you won't find work here. and if you do, you won't make more than $8.50/hour. and as far as the boyfriend goes.. a man's mind is very simple. what you see as making sure a situation is okay, he sees as nagging. men don't like naggers. just back off, lay low for a couple days. maybe if he feels like you're giving up on him, he'll pick up the slack. maybe he's just spooked, especially getting into a second marriage. just my $.02. 

like your fiance, he was married before too... and burned! he left for deployment and his ex wiped his accts out and took everything... so it was more so him who had to relearn the trusting thing. and we've had 2 situations... where i went snooping and unfortunately found what i was looking for and we had big blowouts... but we worked it out. we've just grown a lot together and now the trust factor is way up where it should be. we made the same passwords for our myspace accts so that crap was never an issue... a lot of give and takes. 

thanks OKAY your right i guess ... thats usually how they are ...lol I have really thought of doing the career in the metroplex ... i just dont want to have to live somewhere where i dont know ANYONE ya know 

well, then live wherever you're comfortable. if i've learned one thing in 25 years, it's that you should never compromise yourself and your goals for anybody, not even the love of your life. chances are if everything looks wrong, it is wrong. and the REAL love of your life hasn't come along yet. not saying that's the case with you, but, if things are getting weird and you're not so sure about moving, then don't!! if it's love, it'll last through anything. 

yea, definately don't move here until your for sure for sure! 

yes it sounds like what michael had to go through with his EX wife ... but if he has to be the one to relearn the trust deal then why would i be the one questioning my trust of HIM