well im really just writing this to vent. You know to try to get it out of my head. Well yesterday i called my husbands ex about gettin his sone for the summer.. I already know what yall are going to say that my husband should have called. NO i do the calling and me and the girl have already talked about it and i ask her if she cared who called her me or my husband and she said me callin was just fine. anyways so i called to set up when we will get him in the summer time. Our papers say that we get him for 30 days in the summer and she gets him one weekend out of those 30 days and on her weekend she has to come pick him up from or house and then after the weekend she has to bring him back to our house. Well they live 4 hours away just to let you know. Its also set in the papers that every other weekend when we get him that we " me and my husband" have to pick him up and bring him back home. She told us that she couldnt go that long with out seein him so we made the deal with her that we could do everyother week. But we also told her that in order to do everyother week she will have to meet us half way to pick him up and drop him off And if she couldnt do that that we would have to go with gettin him for the 30 days. She said there was no way she was meetin us half way and that we were not gettin him for 30 days that he was to young for that. hes one...... She said she is going to take us back to court and have it set to were we cant get him in the summer till hes 3. what do yall think about that? 

I think you can fight that and win because it is written in a legal document. She can't make up new rules as she goes...that is not fair to you and your husband or the little boy. Just keep records of everything that is said and done by her. Times and dates and everything. 

yea i have been keepin records of everything 

ill never understand why ppl are like that. when the little boy was born my husband was in iraq and my husband didnt get to meet him til he was 6 months old then we were set to washington state at ft.lewis we stayed there for about 6 months then orders came up to come to ft.hood and my husband took them so he would be closer to his sone knewing he would get deployed a few months sooner then if he stayed in washington. yesterday when i was talkin to her she told me that it was our fault that we havent been there for the firtst part of the little boys life. I told her its wasnt something that we could help we couldnt help that my husband was deployed and then sent to washington. She said well he doesnt even know thats his daddy. i said well i feel like he does because if he didnt why would he call him daddy and stay by his side like he misses him when he is gone. i told her even if she did feel that away wouldnt she want to give her little boy the time to get to know his daddy and love him. she got made and just started going on about how she was takin us back to court. Even if she does there wont be a court date set before its time for us to get him in july. 

you might wanna call ur lawyer or JAG and find out what u all can do about what she is saying. friend of mine did something like this at FT Drum with her hubbys ex... the female was acting just like urs is and when they went back to court her hubbys lawyer said since he isnt gettin to see his kids as in the divorce paperwork like was promised and then the ex wife didnt follow any of it ( she liked her own rules) he somehow got his child suport dropped lower... all in all what he did was u give me my kids for the full 45 days in the summer and my every other weekend or u get less in child suport for teh kids and jail time for not following thru... somehow it all worked out... also was thinking can he not get custody of his son???? and sorry if that above is a jumbled mess.... 

well i called my lawyer yesterday and still waiting on a phone call back yea im a little bit mad that she hasnt called me back yet. Well we havent tryed for custody yet. Does she have to be like a big time durg head before we can even try? or before the court will even think about it. 

i understand your husbands ex. could you live without your own child for 30 days when it is just 1? 

i understand not wantin to go with out your child for 30 day thats why i told her that we could do everyother week and she was find with that till i told her that in order to do the ever other week thing she would have to meet us half way to pick him up an ddrop him off and she told me no its not going to happen. And half way is 2 hours for her and 2 hours for us. 

she made it clear to me that its just about gettin her way because we were going to get him for a 9 day starting sat and she was find with that as long as we pick him up and bring him home. And see at first it was all about how she couldnt go that long with out seein him now its that hes just too young.Point being just just dont want to shell out the money to drive to come get him and drop him off. she wants us to do it all. 

She seems more upset about the drive then having him gone for 9 days. I don't think you guys are wrong at all. You even offered to take him for a less amount of time when she didn't want to do the 30days. How is it your husband's fault for being in Iraq and not getting to know the little boy? It sounds like she wants you guys to go above and beyond with out any help from her just to see the child. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Unless the the parent is on drugs or booze they should have every right to their child as the other parent does. They shouldn't have to pay support to the mother if she forbids them from seeing their child. The system is screwed up if you ask me. 

yea i feel the same way alwayzme... I hate to say it but the daddy always gets the bad end of the deal... We payed child support with out a court order for a year before we went to court. We just went 2 months ago... She isnt even greatful for that... People just dont look at in the right way she sould be greatful that my husband isnt one of those dead beat dads and that we wants to be in this little boys life... he loves that little boy so much.... 

No-one would want to go with out thier child for 30 days, but it has to be fair for BOTH parents in this situation! That is something you have to deal with when there is a child involved...BOTH parents should get to spend time with thier parents. i'm sure he has to spend more time away from him than 30 days. Sheesh! 

I get frustrated to because in most cases dad's to get the s*** end of the stick. She needs to keep up with her end of the deal. She can see him within those 30 days if she really wanted to. It probably has nothing to do with seeing him......women like that just like to play games and make things difficult. 

just outta curiosity, if she gets a weekend in the middle of the 30 days then she really isnt going 30 days without seeing him is she? this really is about wanting you guys to have to incur all the expenses of picking him up and dropping him off. I'm sorry shes being like that, I know exactly what you guys are going thru since my brother is dealing with trying to get custody of BOTH his kids. he is getting closer to getting his son who is now 5 and has never met in person just on webcam a few times and on the phone, then the mother disappeared again. i hate women like that, they give all of us a bad name 

yikes, now the mom is wrong for acting like. if its in the paperwork then she needs to meet that bargain with you guys.."loving my life" you need to have your hubby call the child support office and tell them the situation as he is the non custodial parent. im sure something can be done about it. 

Im not sure how it works with being 4 hours away but I do know that if you have papers saying that you get him for 30 days of the summer than she has no choice but to let you. You can call the police and they will take the papers and get the child for you. She can get arrested and charged for not honoring court documents. Now some police stations dont care and some do but I do know that recently they have stepped up and beefened the child custody laws and regulations....I would def. call the police station and see what they can tell you. Your lawyer could help yes but they will have the police there anyways to take the child from her. Also for not following through with the court orders your hubby can go to court and file for more strict custody. Meaning that if she doesnt give him to you like she is told than a court rep will be there to make sure she does. 

I am in a similar situation, but on the other side of the fence. I have a 3 year old son with my ex. My ex lives in Arkansas and I live here. We live 7 1/2 hours from each other. We have the agreement that we do split it up halfway. Like he comes and gets him and I pick him up. I absolutely hate being away from my son for 30 days, but I also want to do what is best for him. I do continue to do this. Even though he has never payed me any of his child support. Which now he owes a years worth. I think that you could get the cops involved, but I wouldn't recommend it. That could be very traumatic on the little boy. I would just take her back to court if you have tried everything else. 

ok so heres what just happen the mother just called me and ask me if me and my husband talked about it last night and i told her yes we talked about it she said AND... I said everything is still the same as yesterday so she got all mad and said well you have him call me when he gets home from work....... so i think she is scared about it and knows she cant really do anything but we will see when my hubby gets off. 

my mom is going through a similar thing. but my dad is in montana. her lawyer said that if he wouldnt budge about abiding by the rules then wait and see what happens. if he doesnt do what is on the paperwork then he is in contempt of court and next time he steps foot in court he'll be in shackles. and pay a fine etc. then when the next steps come it will look terribly bad on him. dont incriminate yourself or your husband. give his ex some space and let her hang herself, be as nice as possible and if possible record the conversations. then take it to court. maybe you guys can get custoday. on another note does she have a job or is she married to someone that works. gas prices are super high and she could not afford to do it. but if thats the case she should be open with you about it. i think you agreeing to meet halfway is a great deal too. 

Morgan no she dont have a job because she dont wont one she wants to say at home with her kids yes she is married and yes he has a job. 

well he needs a better job to pay for her gas to meet you guys half way or she'll be a momma with a job because she doesnt have custody anymore. 

I agree with following through to the T as how the paperwork currently states, let her falter and hang herself if she chooses to fight it. You attempted to be sensitive to her needs, but she didn't like it, so bounce back to "by the book". If you are too flexible and don't go as the paperwork states this one time, she has something to go on in the future to make you bend again...not a good position to be in. 

I wish someone would give me a break for 30 days. These kids are about to make me go postal! Anyway she is not being fair. You are trying to work with her but she is being selfish and not trying to work with you. And like someone else said,she cant just make up rules as she goes along. I will talk to jag or something to see what I can do. Or I would just get him and keep him for 30 days like the order says and then take him back after that. Good Luck